This month has revealed some good and some bad news. There are somethings that I am not happy, not proud of.. things that have left me floundering this month. I tried to put up a brave face. I tried to brighten up. I shielded myself and my thoughts from being 'revealed' to others. The pain in my heart no one knows. My thoughts have been all screwed up. Although I knew that endless and incessantly thinking of something is not going to do me a whole world of good, I could not stop my traitorous thinking.
Along the way, I decided to ask God for a chance. Please Lord, release me from all this financial burdens... these are the things that I did not ask for. These are things that I did for someone else and now I am to be blamed. The world is so unmerciful. I have never done anything bad but yet I am blamed for this and is forced to face the retributions. Where is the fairness in life?
I leaving this pain and the curse in the hands of God. This is something that I cannot handle. This is something that God needs to take this from me. I am leaving the wheel to Jesus. Lord Jesus, please help me out in this matter.. drive my life to safety and stability. I am leaving my troubles here and will leave this to you to help me solve. I know you have never intended my life to be full of pain.
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