Creative Change #1: Threading

Since I have decided that this year will be full of new things, new experiences and coming out from my shell... I decided to blog about this. What better way than to celebrate one's success!

Creative Change #1
I tried threading my eyebrows. After years of waxing and months of trying to cajole myself to just get out of the house and try banging on some Indian lady's shop and politely ask whether they do threading or not. Last 2 weeks - Aug 21, I hauled my little niece butt and went over to the Indian street. After swallowing many times and almost ditching my hare brained scheme (to go for threading that is), I decided to just face the music.

So in I went into this nice Indian shop - where the stairs are nice to climb and conveniently asked the lady who greeted me whether they do threading here. Of course I knew what was the answer, didn't I know how to read (ignore this). Anyways.. the young lady mentioned the golden word (i.e. Yes!) and I happily found myself inside her shop. Although I did try to let her know albeit nervously and without twitching my eyes and attempting to run away (do note that I had my young 11 year old niece with me... and it will not do justice to my ego if I fled the shop). Anyways as usual I digress, the nice lady proceeded to thread my eyebrows. I must say it was less painful than I expected and so I was not fearful, instead I thought that the soft sawing of my eyebrows was very therapeutic. I then proceeded to let her know that I was reading for further threading on my upper lip. She was amazed and did caution me that it would be painful however the brave heart that I was... I was carefree and giddy and just causally asked her to proceed. Upper lip threading mind you hurts! especially when the lady or the thread moves to the middle of your mouth where the nostril meets the line/bridge to the mouth. It hurts and my eyes nearly watered.

Still... I thought the experience extremely interesting although I did think she was a tad too expensive. The experience was  exhilarating. I just could not believe my eyes and ears, my brows were neatly shaved and my upper lip hair non existent. It has been awhile that my eyebrows have been neatly manicured and trimmed if you will and indeed it was delightful interesting!

Shaping UP!

After reading Paul Bragg' book on the miracles of fasting and looking at myself in the mirror, I remembered once again of how I used to look and how I look right now. It is not a pretty sight. I used to be beautiful, strong, confident with a slim body and mind. Now I feel like a snail, slow, wobbly, weak and heavy.

They say what the hearts thinks, it becomes. So I am telling my heart to behave itself. I am telling it that I am healthy and I need to get to be more fit and free again. After all I was the one who could never sit still.

The things I am doing?
I am reading on the health and fitness books again
I am doing some light exercises.
I am cutting down on eating aimlessly
I am trying to do few rounds of 'bicycling' on the bed and some of the donkey kicks.
I am souring online for workouts.

I believe that what my mind keeps thinking it happens. Didn't the song "How Great Thou Art" suddenly appeared in church ... I mean.. somebody decided to play this... the same song that I have been playing and playing all over and over again this week? before I go to sleep and once I on my laptop? Isn't amazing? Isn't life amazing?

Drowsiness at work + Reaping Benefits

Today I managed to complete some of the work, ward of sleepiness by having discussion, opened my brain and remembered that I forgotten to do something and had that team give me their willingness to participate.

I managed to get a place to sit in the train today - both on the way and when I was going home. I keep reminding myself that I am lucky. I managed to buy the belt that I wanted - in fact, I bought 2 belts and one for my little niece.

I had a good lunch with my good friends. I did not want dinner but I ate anyways. I need to stop eating at the night as it is doing nothing good to my waistline.

I remembered to eat fiber today. I think my hair behaved very well today and it is nicely doused with serum. I need to try out the Dove and the Loreal hair serum before the hols end so I get to save money.

I have been thinking of eating healthily - thanks to self acknowledgement and also the interesting wealth of information gleaned from reading Bragg's book on fasting. I must say that the book is fascinating... if only now..  I can find ways of inducing fasting in my life like what the muslims are doing right now. Perhaps... I will start with a 1/2 fast tomorrow. Will only eat around 4-6pm tomorrow with no breakfast but only water to accompany me. Should I feel faint, will arm myself with a yogurt drink.

DownHearted

I guess I must be downhearted. My spirit and energy is dissipating. I feel that I ave put up weight. Oh gosh.. now I need to take it all off. Christmas is nearing and there is the 2 dresses that I am waiting to wear for years. I need to make this year special. After all how many times does one turn a big 35?

Wonderment

It is funny how short termed my memory is to certain things and how long termed it is in other things. I have been reading Bragg's book on fasting and on how it can help one's to remember things among losing weight, looking and feeling healthy and smelling sweet. Can't wait to start reading from the start. It should seem to be fulfilling.

Last two days have been dratty. I did not get a place to sit in the train at all. 1hr standing in the train without a book to read is so horrific. Thank goodness I had a... train pal if you will, to converse with me and pull me out of boredom. I thank God for the lovely lunch meal with friends and the simple dinner that I had. I thank God for all the goodness that happened to me today - to ask that more goodness is bestowed in me and comes my way each day. I endeavor to affirm more and to ask for happiness and joyfulness in my heart. Lord God... a lifetime companion please to nudge this heart of mine and to feel the splendid and special feeling that you have when you are loved and is in love.

Surprise Dream

Yesterday on the way back home in the bus whilst sleeping and dreaming and waking  up. I had a dream. A nice dream actually. I dreamt that I was all dressed in this super slim beautifully cut wedding gown. I was happy ... deliriously happy and there I was walking to the altar to my intended.

And the priest was also in attendance. Reciting marriage vow. I remember being so happy I could not hear the words. Hazy. I think I used my own imagination here and wished that I was marrying a white man.

There was love all around. He loved me too. Loves - present tense. This is the one guy that I would be spending my waking  life with. The one that I am determined to grow old with. My darling. My husband. My soul mate.

The priest was asking whether I agreed to marry him. I said yes. Oh how happy I was and him too... he was giddy with love and also laughing. He said yes too because we were kissing... a kiss that is not so chaste but of wanting and joy.

Oh how I intend this to be real. It has been so long.. it looks like I wanted a wedding after all and for the whole world to know :-) My dinner was supposed - our dinner reception was to take place 1 week later at my birthplace - Melaka.

Committment

Today I changed my wallpaper yet again to reflect a new inspiration : commitment
Years ago the word commitment left a sour note in my mouth. I told people that i could not commit... not to a man... not to my own self I mouthed silently to myself.

As I said.. this year... it is all about shedding my cloak of fear, of staying hidden or being in the shadows. This year... I need to explore new things for the good of my soul... to pacify this feeling of emptiness and incompleteness in my life. This year... like a basketball player... I want to score few goals. I want to able to complete the few things that I have started and attempted to start but never end. 18 years is a very long time to have not complete certain things. Talk about procrastinating but 18 years is far to long a time to not have done anything to accomplished what my soul years: knowledge and lifetime of information in my hands. To have eternal bliss, to always be happy and have happiness reign in me, to be rich and beautiful, to have guys falling at my feet and to accomplish so much.

I need to take up running again and acquire my stamina. I need to cross boundaries and learn new things. I need to be myself back again. I am she. I am her. I will be.

Savoring Goodness - Like Tasty Honey... it gets better each day

It is funny that when we are adamant that something good is about to happen and when it does not we try not to be crestfallen. I choose instead of letting feeling helpless, I cajoled and psyche myself that something good is around the corner and it is lying in wait. Maybe it has already happened in some disguise... maybe they are still waiting to happen. Thinking like this and cajoling myself to think positively... it makes me feel happy inside that something good has happened.

The good things that has happened:

1. I had a place to sit in the train today in the morning and even managed to sleep and dream. I did the same thing on the way back home in the bus. Shuteye however short it is always titillating. It makes me happy.
2. I had a wonderful lunch today and also a wonderful dinner.
3. Today is the second day that I am eating light for dinner. I feel happy. I am working positively to a healthy and fit body.
4. I managed to finish many things today.
5. I am listening to Robin Sharma's podcast. It makes me feel so good to hear. He is so inspiring. I want to be the same thing to so many people. I like to make a good impression in people's life.
6. I have been listening to these words today: dream - I am bigger than the sky and I can do anything that my minds tells me to.  Sharma says , DREAM, DARE and keep SHINING.
7. I completed listening to Robin Sharma's podcast on leadership. How insightful it was. I love listening to podcast. It inspires my heart and mind,

Peace is Flowing Like a River

It gives me so much of peace and pleasure in listening to the soothing tune of the church songs. The sounds of monks and singers alike are so angelic and the words themselves so beatific. It soothes my tortured soul. It fills up the void and gap in my heart.

Work A Dub

Time today went on fast. One minute I am sitting for breakfast having a warm nescafe instead of a hot one and bereft of a sandwich or something to eat, next thing is that I am between meetings. Well the good thing is that I managed to complete so many things yesterday and today was a mere follow up. I also managed to get a place to sit in the train. A older woman allowed me ample of sit whilst she sat between a group of slight heavy in weight. There was not much place for her to sit near those ladies but since she was a small sized woman, she fitted in easily.

I did not eat much for dinner. Just fried bananas - they are high in calories.. (what was I thinking) but this I believe is a start, I drank a mug full of cold milk and also wuarter glass of giner wine. My belly is warm and I am happy. Oh yeah... I had a lovely lunch with friends today and a good tea break with friends again. I also was given a nice egg tart... which was so nice and tasty. I liked being cared for and thought of in a good way that is.

Fulfilling One's Life Mission

What is it in the earliest of the morning and the latest of the night that one suddenly remembers all their aspirations and wants. I am but a girl and yet already a lady. I have my own needs and wants just like every other person in the world. I want romance in my life. To have guys swoon over me...to cherish me and pay me the importance of listening attentively to me. I do not want to dwell that it is my own limitation and fears that is putting me away. Wasn't I the interesting one full of anecdotes, smiles and laughter. Wasn't I the popular one. I am still popular in so many ways but with boys... guys.. I guess I need to start back again and bring out the pretty woman in me.

I laugh less these days. I find it more important to be angry about tasks rather than be grateful that I am living and breathing each day. One can easily get lost in the humbug of daily routines. However one should never forget their capabilities as a person just like Paul Coelho mentioned in the Way of the Bow. There are so many powerful hidden meanings in Coelho's book. You can almost smell it but it takes a stronger person to acknowledge all these words and their meaning. To each person there is an alchemist in each of us. If only we are determined to live life the way we want it to rather than live dictate it for us. It is not fated if we choose to change our fate. One needs to invoke their inner valiant champion. Never to lose one's dream.
I dream a thousand things and yet sometimes... I am unable to induce myself to dream out loud. There are so many things to dream on. I vouch to live my dreams. To become what I want. To always lead and manage a grouo of people. Not necessarily always a project manager but a senior manager of my own unit/department. I have high ambitions... I longed to grasp these again in my hands. To victory!

Wanting More Money

I am not losing sight of the RM25,000 that I have been harbouring. I want the RM25,000 for so many reasons as I have intended this. I wish to keep this still in my mind.

Making Decisions

Yesterday I was very happy. I had RM6500 debited into my account. This is not to say that the actual amount was supposed to be RM8000+ but I gather from the deductions of tax and etc... the money that have come into my account not mysteriously but bcoz of incorrect calculations. I am not going to discount this matter bcoz of the difference is the amount that I hope to received and the reality of the amount that I received. Instead... I thank God for the amount that he gave me and the others. I sure as hell wished that the amount is 3x the same amount that I have received but I will be happy all the same

Anyways... today I decided not to report to work. I decided to just stay at home or maybe go out later. I am fed up of all the pains that I am feeling inside my head and on my face - sinusitis be damned.  It is my responsibility and my decision to make myself feel better. I will take the starting point of taking charge of my life as Brian Tracy said. I just want to take some time and relax at home.

Yes... I am listening to Brian Tracy's phoenix seminar. He makes so much of sense.

Another Read

I have been terribly naughty this whole of August. I just could not help myself from spending my weekends reading the most interesting and heart capturing romance books.

I am unsure whether it has to do with my celibate life or my mournfulness of not having someone who loves me. Or shall I say... that I am lonely and bereft of a consoling muscular male who loves me as much as I love him? I miss having someone to love. I am not going to play victim here. After all it was me who in ages have been giving guys the pushover or the silent ... "forget it shrug I am not into you" gesture.

I think probably it is my heart that is ruling my mind and is letting me relax by allowing me to remember what is like to be in love and have someone who loves me back. It is my creative mind that have decided to let myself wallow and resume reading romance books. I just read another romance book - By Julia Quinn and I must confess that I liked the last story the best - it seemed so authentic and is something that I have been dreaming for years... to have a knight in shining armor to come rescue me and teach me to love.

Oh the joy of being in love, of being pursued and of being thought as the most beautiful person in the whole world. I miss being treated as a princess. I should vouch for this again. I think.. and I hope dearly that for the longest time that I have waited that God would be kind to me and bestow me someone to love and marry not for appearances sake but because I have always longed to be loved. What was it that I said before? I will marry when then person who is asking me to marry him is the one person that I would want to spend the 100 years of my life with. I want to be fascinated and romanced like the king in the 'Arabian Nights' story. I want to be enthralled, enraptured with someone tall and handsome, with an intelligent mind of his own, a man who built his own career, who is DIY master and is someone who can support me financially for years to come and more.

Oh how I longed to be loved in the same ardor as I used to be. To be someone's princess and to make the person very happy. How I wish... that time as freeze and I can turn back the clock and I will capture all the time.. that I have wasted my time... letting love past by me.  I want love back. I want a man. I want to be loved and wanted and I want to be ... dare I said it... be married and have kids. I believe that I have at last grown up and I am destined to have my own life with someone that I love. I want to grow old with him...I want everlasting love, happiness, and tenderness. I want all this and many more. I want somebody to love - a good, kind and charming man to love me back all the more.

Unexpected Income Prayer

Dear Universe,
I am fervently asking you to bestow me RM25,000 of unexpected income to materialized within 30 days time.

I really need this amount of cash. I absolutely need this cash. I cannot afford to part/dip into my salary. At the moment, my salary alone is enough to sustain my monthly expenses. I need the RM25,000 cash for a much larger reason.

There are so many things that I need this cash for but I will start with putting the RM20,000 as a down payment to buy me a house.  I want a beautiful house which is near amenities and near the shopping complex so my parents can shop for things when I am not around. I want my new house to be a strategic positioned. A beautiful big house in Bukit Tinggi complete with a lawn and a porch that I can park my car. I want a beautiful kitchen for mum to place all her things. I want her to be happy in her own home. I want her to have everything that she wants and nothing less.

Dear Universe...pls help to assist me in this plea of mine. The remaining RM5000 I will do the following i.e. provide:

1. RM500 to the church
2. RM500 for mum 
3. RM1000 for dad's medical expenses
4. RM500 for me to buy myself the clothes closet that I want and some nice pretty dresses.
5. RM300 for a new oven for mum
6. RM200 for a new vacuum cleaner
7. RM1000 to save in the bank
8. RM1000 for the house expenses - new furniture, curtains and bedsheet.

Dear Universe...
I know that you can hear me. I know you are listening to me. I want you to feel for me.. to feel my yearning and desire... I want you to pls grant my wish. To provide me RM25,000 is nothing much to you. You who are so rich with bountiful of treasures, grace and mercy. RM25,000 is no pain of your skin... it is something that you can grant me easily. I plead to your sensibilities. Bless me with RM25,000 of unexpected income within 1 month and I will remember this gesture of mercy and with gladness in my heart I will not forget your kindness and merciful gesture. May God Bless you for all that you do. This prayer I leave to you.

Listening

I have been bitten by the podcast bug. I can't stop myself. It is so interesting. It begun with Ravi Sharma's podcast. Then with Anthony Robbin's "Awaken the Giant" book in a podcast.

Now I am listening to Elizabeth Gilbert's - Eat, Pray, Love book. It sounds lovely. Gilbert herself is reading her book out loud. She has a lovely voice. It sure beats reading :-)

Probably this is my way of being creative. It is my only way of trying something new. I am determined to experience new things even if it comes in the form of small baby steps. So what if I can't do something big like take a 4 day lest 1 week vacation. As long.. as I am experiencing new things... life is blissful. Now if I only I can get myself a man... in the process... it makes all things more sweeter for me.

Now I am ready for another adventure... to take a weekend adventure.. with some or 1 of my friends... a kind of hiking... jungle hiking, going somewhere... a short trip like in a train etc. It is so interesting... I shall plot these adventure. If no one will go with me.. nevermind... I shall go by myself. What better way to meet up with new people... new contacts... and perhaps more interesting men :-)

Interesting Encounters

As I listened to Sharma's podcast each night and listen to interesting encounter with something or somebody ... I realised that there is a lesson in everyday life... there are also signs and symbols out there that tell you things.. once if you look closely will you find these. It is like opening your eyes and ears to something that is always there .. or new things and new visions or places... and finding that life is giving you some message.

I had some many things to mentioned... that I wanted to blog about... only that I forgot.

Strenght Within Myself

Yesterday and today also... I was/am in excruciating pain. My eyes aches... my face has swelled as well as my nose... and the worst pain of all is the ache in my ear and throat. I did not wanted to go to work. Most importantly, I did not want to welcome the pain or wallow in the pain if I was at home. I had so many things to do at work. I did not want to play victim. Didn't this what Robin Sharma say. Stop playing the victim. Playing a victim is an  infectious disease.

Hence... I went to work only to be hit with the same excuciating pain only at a higher tempo. I also ended up in a long meeting.. fortunately I did not lose my temper but lost it when I came out of the meeting. I have always disliked inactivity. Going out for lunch proved to be a better idea. It lessened the pain... I was even happy... however bliss sometimes tends to be short...

After awhile. it... the pain came back with a vengeance. Thus I resorted to medicine - Actifast.

It is between the medicine and the fact that I had to do something that one of my team mate wanted... I forgot the pain..

I went on completing tasks after task and left my office only at 6.00pm. Because the usual van did not come... I only ended leaving the workplace after drinks with a friend at 6.30pm. Because it rained... I came back home soaking wet at 8.50pm.. I was alive I tell you... I even managed to sit up until 10.30pm after the movie ended and then only went to bed. Even then I could not sleep.

However.. cast aside all these lengthy talks-  I always believed that I always have strength in me to go further that I am right now... and that I am strong to forgo the pain and also the length of journey by just moving on relenteless. The whole idea is to forget the pain and concentrate on what is on hand.

I am what I am. See where it got me... one morning I was full of pain.. I went to work and managed to complete all my work, resolve matters at hand, fulfilled my project obligations, responsibilities and requirements and ACHIEVED. How wonderful the word ACHIEVE is to me...

I heard this on Sharnma's podast:
Run Your Own Race - be successful on your own terms. Live and find success on your own terms and not on othrs. How true what he says. I have always done the same thing. Also I never want to play a victim. I am strong. I am independent. I am lucky and I always get what I want.

New Avenues - Differentiate Oneself Even If You Are Busy

I find listening to podcast especially to Robin Sharma before I go to sleep is so interesting. He makes a 6minute talk so interesting... he bundles in all inspirational words that can get people - myself especially going. I love the fact that I get to listen to his words, feel inspired, go to sleep and then wake up with some of the keywords that he mention and it makes my morning so wonderfully inspiring.

This is an extract of Robin's podcast - one out of the many :-)

Power over Problems

1. change the way you see problems. be an alchemist - how can you use a problem into opportunity. look for the gifts in problems.
2. keep in perspective. Ask yourself how could be worse? Will this problem last for long?
3. Remain proactive. Don't play victim. You ALWAYS have CHOICES!
4. Self management in midst of difficult time. Get into gym, read biographies and inspirational books. Motivate yourself.
5. Resolve the WIN. Rise above the difficult times. Picture yourself as a plane flying high into the clouds and picture your problems going away.

Feeling of Joy

Today has been a splendid day ... one out of the many days :-)
It is always nice to be able to relax and unwind on the way to work. It makes the travelling time so much fun.

1. I had a place to sit in the train and bus today. I managed to get a good rest and slept along the way to work and back home.
2. My meetings went on well.
3. My team resolved an issue and we are on the path of getting well.
4. I had a good lunch with friends.
5. I had 2 tea session with friends and my boss - bonding is good for the soul.
6. My project is progressing well and within the timeline.
7. I am nearing the completion of the book that I have been reading by Scott Peck.
8. I had a wonderful and light dinner. I did not overstuff myself. I am getting well these days and am on the road to a healthy weight.
9. I can't wait to read so many books and listen to podcasts.

Good Things Breed MORE Good Things

It is amazing how good things breed good news. The joy in my heart always soars high and I can't help feeling happy with all the good news that are surrounding me.

 

1. I like the fact that I have more friends now than ever.
2. I love the fact that good friends that I have since longed lost contact contacts me - I like being surprised in that way.
3. I like the fact that I am able to solve many things and my team works very well with me.
4. I like the fact that people understand me and we get things going and resolved in a jiffy.
5. I love being a project manager.
6. I love being in the middle of everything and able to manage things effectively.
7. I am glad that I am able to work things out with people.
8. I like the fact that I am learning to work with all sorts of people and not let my temper override my good sense of logic.
9. I am glad that I got a ride mid way back home. I managed to get on the minibus and got home early.
10. I am glad that I had a place to sit in the train and in the bus today. I had a good rest during travel and even managed some shuteye.
11. I had a good lunch with my friends today.
12. I even went shopping with friends today ... how nice it was to make people feel happy and to be with me also.
13. I had a nice and satisfying dinner complete with fruits and vege and protein.

Busy Monday But Nice

Monday started  off nicely with me having plenty of sleep the night before. Clever me decided to tweak my alarm to wake up much later than my usual 6.00am or 6.22am. I happily woke up at 6.30am! The good thing was that I was still on time - as per my usual time so I had some time to walk up here and there. Brother only came over at 7.40am. Next time... I shall wake up at 6.45am instead... giving me a tremendous amount of extra sleep - a good 45minutes.

At work... I was busy... alot of good things did happen such as I nearly - almost completed my timesheet (horrible one that but useful), I also almost completed my study and understanding of the network architecture of another project that I had. On the present project I had... nothing could ever be much lovelier... everything went on as usual... nothing untowards happenned although I did not turn out for my 2 hour checkpoint yesterday after the users moved floor. So in short all my projects went on well. I had a free lunch at the expense of the vendor --- I was happy to have lunch with my boss and other friends. I was given a wonderful birthday cake .. someone else's birthday not mine. Nice to have friends who thinks of me and give me free food. My skin is getting better and smoother... I wish that the soles of my feet will also be as smooth and lovely to hold and see.

I ate lovely fruits at night and also friend chicken nuggets ... ala carte ... mom's style :-)
Ijust love eating fruits. I did some mild exercise... by walking up and down the stairs for 2 commercials... next time... I will aim to walk up and down until the commercials end and also for every advert that comes on tv. I feel happy walking up and down the stairs... exercise... however mild it may seemed to you (coz you are not the one who ends up with winding breath everytime she climbs 1 flight of stairs!)... exercise makes me more energetic and light :-)

My Eulogy

These are things that I want to be said at my funeral. These are the things I dreamed that my husband who is my best friend, lover and soul mate will say for me:

1. As a person - she is the most beautiful, most charming, and easy going, person of all sorts. She is always so caring and strong. She is kind and considerate and her advice always cheers and inspires people. She is a daily inspiration to everyone who knew her. She is a good friend, a reliable one and is always one who is quick with her smiles.
2. As a colleague - she is someone that is people are dependable on. She makes decisions - strong decisions easily. She is a team worker and a leader all rolled into one. She is an effective leader, ever supportive of her team and her team loves, respects and cares for her tremendously as she is with them.
3. As a manager. She is an inspirational leader who manages her team well. She is a superb planner and a strategist. Everything she plans and does literally turns gold. She is a success factor. She is well liked by all her peers and superiors. She is an enigma at work and in life.
4. As a mother... she is loving to all her kids, kind and gentle to every bruise, fights and arguments. She makes loving an easy thing to do. She teaches and imparts gentleness and kindness of the soul. She is the best gentle mother everyone had hope to have .. a friend and a compatriot worthy of long and friendly relationships.
5. As a wife... she has always been my soul mate. She is the most loving of all people, kind and considerate and understanding in all tribulations and years of marriage. She is such an easy person to love. She is my second heart - no my first heart. She is the first thought in my mind, the last one before I close my eyes and the one constant reminder on how much I cherish my moments with her. She is the one I love, loved and always will love. She is my friend.. the best friend and girlfriend that I ever had. She is my one and only love. 
6. As an inspiration... she lives and breath success.  Whatever she wants she always gets. She is a true believer of her success... and is never short of wisdom, joy and peace. She was a successful manager. She had guts and leadership skills... something... that all leaders are born with .. she had the ability to lead and to be followed.

Practicing Restrain:

Today... I went out on what is known as a routine monthly grocery shopping for my household. I was gleeful as I always am whenever I go shopping. I decided that since I had money in my wallet... I was safe to spend. So there I was on my way to the shopping store... a little edgy because it has been a slow long ride but glad nevertheless that I was there ... doing what I love best that is ... shopping.

Imagine my shock that when I move between aisles... I did not find much things to buy. I thus did the most natural thing to do which is to frown. I found my hands trying to grab things and put these in my trolley - things that I did not need but somehow it was there. Then I stopped myself... I do not need to buy those things that I do not need. I simply needed to concentrate on those things and items that I wanted most. There is no use spending money simply because I have money. No... it was always prudent... to just buy what I needed. Thus I moved away and returned back the items that I did not want back to the shelf.

Instead I moved directly to the cold area where I needed to buy things such as butter, cheese, yogurt, yummy fruits and also eggs. Now I am glad that I restrained myself... because the bill amounted to RM184.30... one would wonder what I did buy to deserve to pay such a large amount of money. Rather I am happy... no delighted as always that I made the right choice in buying essential things for the household and even managed to save a few bucks in that way.

I love making prudent choices and saving money in the same way. I love making correct decisions to run my life the way I like it rather than to succumb to my whim and fancies and to the forces out there :-)

I am glad that I am getting a hold of myself.

Podcast & The Art of Listening

Finally on what I have earlier decided to dismiss that I have a listening problem. I decided to test my luck or my ears for that matter by doing the oppsite ... i.e I made a decision to listen myself.

As I listened to Anthony Robbins over a podcast (yes.. I am beginning to listen), he says to not associate pain with a false cause. This then leads us to teach ourselves to avoid the pain on a misguided thinking. Robbins says that we need to take control of our emotions by overiding our emotions and make a decison of what pleasure and what pain is rather than life dictate it.

So I guess.. I am doing the right thing i.e rather than running away from what I called my apparent weakness in that I fail to listen correctly all the time because listening skills is something that I do not care of... I decided that I will take charge of my life and stop trying to run away from my weakness.

So here I am trying to take the bull by it's horn or so to speak. I am training ... retraining myself that is to learn to listen. How may you ask... why I guess.. the easiest way other than give someone my full attention when they talk is to also to listen to podcast.

I started listening to Robin Sharma first - he is one of my fave authors. I loved his "the monk who bought a ferrari book). I must admit... he did not have a voice that I imagine that he had. He did however sound like ... a thoughful guy after I decided to listen more rather than try to imagine him speaking :-)

Anyways.. Robin Sharma's podcast are fun. They are short and too the point. I love the fact that it tends to last a good 6 mins and nothing longer. It is a good feeling for people who like me who seems to want to multitask working an listening. I should know... that listening is an art in which someone needs to concentrate on rather that trying to associate it as a chore.

Anyways... the good news is that I found that podcasts can be fun... listening is fun too. I would certainly want to listen book... it is like a modern day sort of reading... someone reading something to you or lecturing you or teaching you something. It is an interesting feeling. I guess.. this is why people like it so much.

The podcasts that I have been listening thus so far :-)

1. Leadership - [Robin Sharma]
2. Dare To Create Money - [Tony Robbins, T Harv Eker, Robert Kiyosaki, Bob Proctor]
3. Awaken the Giant Within - [Anthony Robbins]

ROMANCE Books

What a fine day it is... I decided to read romance books just to make me happy. Have been trying not to bother to the nagging urge for me to complete the minutes of meeting that I had.
Weekends are not meant to be wasted on matters at work ..they should be reserved for other important things like myself.

Here are the list of things that I am grateful for:

1. I had a splendid dinner and also tea where I had pastry sausages.. something like pigs in a basket.
2. I completed reading 1 book - a romance book by Julia Quinn
3. I had a face mask... it would have been better if I fell a sleep and rested too but somehow my mind was too awake.
4. I had a good sleep in the morning.. a peaceful and restful one complete with a nice dream that I cant remember. It has been so long that I dreamed.

Beauty Sleep

I am thankful that yesterday I managed to have a good sleep. In fact I slept peacefully in the bus on the way home and I did the same today. In the morning, I managed to do some shut eye but did not managed to sleep. I tried dreaming but I guess the coffee was too strong and I did not feel sleepy at all. However the fact that I had a place to sit was the great thing by itself.

Sleep is improving my skin along with the dove soap. I feel that my skin is getting much softer each day. This of course delights me tremendously.

Things That I AM GRATEFUL for Today

Things that I am grateful today:

1. I had a sit in the train today, managed to read a book and take a nap and rest.
2. I had a wonderful lunch with friends :-)
3. I managed to go home with a friend .. hence I was back home before 8pm.. Fancy that... I love getting home early.. it gives me so much time to read... surf the net, watch tv etc.
4. I have good co-workers whom I work and get along fabulously.
5. I have a very good team. My team works with me on many things and updates me on alot of matters. We get along fabulously and we respect each other. As a team we are strong and as individuals we are all talented and skillful.
6. I like people referring me to other people to get their work done. I like the fact that people commend me for being a effective Project Manager and always ask me to work with them on projects. I like it when people have trust that I can complete a job. I like people referring me on good matters and good recognition to my superiors esp. my big bosses.
7. I am lucky. I always have the ability to start something effortlessly.
8. I am lucky to be home everyday before 8.30pm. I ave more time for myself.
9. I love smelling good and being clean.
10. I believe that success is within me.
11. I love it that people/users have trust in me... join in my meetings and gives me full co-operation.

The Little Things In Life that One Cherishes

One thing that I am happy that I possess is this trait which humankind is slowly diminishing from themselves: I am compassionate. In fact more often than not... I choose to listen to my compassionate heart... i yearn to be kind... i listen to people's heart, sorrows and anguish... till i blush inside and try to still myself to not hear... detect or comprehend more that what meets the eye. Anyways... I am glad that I show compassion to others... and it is my believe what goes around comes around.. people will be compassionate with me also..

I like going out and spending time with my friends. I like eating together as we chat along and spin many tales.

The Secret

Day by day.. I feel the effects and the signs and symptoms that the secret magic is spinning and coming true. My heart beats with glee. I have always known that the universe is always listening there and it listens to my heart. Everything that I wish will come true. I have faith in myself and in the Good Lord and in what I know will eventually be mine. The secret is coming true.... I can't help to a dance, trot and a jig :-)

Things That I AM GRATEFUL Today

Look for a rainbow out there ... it always exists and it is always out there. No matter how in the dumps I may feel... today did go on great.

1. I managed to get a sit in the train.
2. I had good news all around via emails. Things that are not working are working right now at unbelievable state.
3. Lots of my planning is coming into fruition. In fact I am so very glad that my plans worked as expected.
4. I managed to solve many things and nearly perfected in managing my time.
5. I spent time with my friends
6. I like it when people seek me out to update me on matters concerning my project.
7. I like it when my team updates me on the ongoing of the project pace.
8. I had a wonderful dinner tonight.
9. I am thankful that I alive and today went on well despite me forgetting to bring my wallet and my work identity card.
10. I feel blessed each and every day.
11. I managed to read quite a bit on the train today and even rested a bit.
12. My skins feels more soft to the touch and I look younger each day.
13. I feel healthy despite my rumbling tummy. 
14. I know I am beautiful inside and out.
15. I like it when a plan goes on well and people are thankful to me for my help :-) this makes me smile.
16. The more that I read, the more my heart bleats with happiness.
17. The more that I read romance... the more my heart rejoices.
18. I am glad that I downloaded the Catholic songs. In bring peace and joy to me not to mention comfort. I feel at peace especially when I hear the church songs... it is so beautiful... I feel powerful. I feel God's Love.

My MOM The Heroine

The is a fact that someone out there is right, heroes and heroines do exist in real life. They are everywhere near us. The heroine in y life is my mom.. to think that she could stand my dad is nothing short of an angelic demeanor. It does not help that at times.. she irritates me to hell with her endless controlling or shall I call it meddlesome, stubborn and nagging antics. She can repeat things and scenes that drive me crazy.

However,
I have long realized that my mother is a saint when it comes to my dad. Her unbelievable patience and diligence and caring attitude at times.. puts me in shame. How can someone who is being verbally scolded and blamed can take on all these in her stride and put this behind her is a wonder to me. I think that in the event that it was me... I would have walked out that matrimonial door long time ago. I would not have stand to be blamed and be accused each day of my life.

My mom on the other hand, is a good person. I believe the very good ones who are in the world are the ones who can withstand abuse and yet live a noble life of someone who does her responsibility and cares for her family the what she would have always wanted.
I love my mom. I don't always tell her... but in my heart and my mind... my mom is always the one who is out there for me. May God Always Bless Her. Peace and Love.

Books That I COMPLETED Reading In August

Ha. I thought to finish this book (romantic When He Was Wicked) at the end of July 30 as a nice mark to end my reading spree in July. However, I only had remembered to start reading around 6pm + yesterday evening which then brought my reading marathon to complete around 1.30am today morning. Well so much for heroics.

Anyways there is always a positive feeling in everything. Everything do happens for a reason and usually the best happens to me :-)

What a lovely way to start off my reading spree in August :-)

1 August 2010

1. When He Was Wicked - Julia Quinn (Bridgerton series)
2. How to Marry a Marquis -Julia Quinn (Haha ... I couldn't resist it was so tempting)

8 Aug 2010

1. To Sir Philip With Love (Bridgerton 05)- Julia Quinn
2. Romancing Mr Bridgerton - (Bridgerton 04) - Julia Quinn

16 Aug 2010

1. Further Observations of Lady Whistledown - - Julia Quinn
2. Further Along The Road Less Traveled - Scott Peck [certainly not the kind of books that I would read esp since it contained some religious stuff.... but surprisingly it was a good read in the train and there were many pages where I could not help but to agree, to smile and even to laugh]. 

12 Aug 2010

1. Lady Tremayne - Emma Wildes

21 Aug 2010

1. The Switch - Emma Wildes

22 Aug 2010

1. Don't Sweat the Small Stuff - Dr. Richard Carlson
2. To Catch an Heiress - Julia Quinn
3. Your Invisible Power - Geneive Behrend

27Aug 2010

1. The Miracles of Fasting - Paul Bragg

May there be many more books for me to read in August with one them hopefully to include Rita's PMP book.