Another Read

I have been terribly naughty this whole of August. I just could not help myself from spending my weekends reading the most interesting and heart capturing romance books.

I am unsure whether it has to do with my celibate life or my mournfulness of not having someone who loves me. Or shall I say... that I am lonely and bereft of a consoling muscular male who loves me as much as I love him? I miss having someone to love. I am not going to play victim here. After all it was me who in ages have been giving guys the pushover or the silent ... "forget it shrug I am not into you" gesture.

I think probably it is my heart that is ruling my mind and is letting me relax by allowing me to remember what is like to be in love and have someone who loves me back. It is my creative mind that have decided to let myself wallow and resume reading romance books. I just read another romance book - By Julia Quinn and I must confess that I liked the last story the best - it seemed so authentic and is something that I have been dreaming for years... to have a knight in shining armor to come rescue me and teach me to love.

Oh the joy of being in love, of being pursued and of being thought as the most beautiful person in the whole world. I miss being treated as a princess. I should vouch for this again. I think.. and I hope dearly that for the longest time that I have waited that God would be kind to me and bestow me someone to love and marry not for appearances sake but because I have always longed to be loved. What was it that I said before? I will marry when then person who is asking me to marry him is the one person that I would want to spend the 100 years of my life with. I want to be fascinated and romanced like the king in the 'Arabian Nights' story. I want to be enthralled, enraptured with someone tall and handsome, with an intelligent mind of his own, a man who built his own career, who is DIY master and is someone who can support me financially for years to come and more.

Oh how I longed to be loved in the same ardor as I used to be. To be someone's princess and to make the person very happy. How I wish... that time as freeze and I can turn back the clock and I will capture all the time.. that I have wasted my time... letting love past by me.  I want love back. I want a man. I want to be loved and wanted and I want to be ... dare I said it... be married and have kids. I believe that I have at last grown up and I am destined to have my own life with someone that I love. I want to grow old with him...I want everlasting love, happiness, and tenderness. I want all this and many more. I want somebody to love - a good, kind and charming man to love me back all the more.